I don’t like it when people ask, “what church do you go to” or, “what is your religion” because there is always more behind that question. After they ask the question I can feel them calculating and analyzing. I know if I don’t answer the way they want I’ll get that sinner going to hell look. I use to fall into the trap and automatically go into my conditioned story like a zombie on autopilot. I would say, “my mother is Methodist and my father was Baptist and my brother and I went to Catholic school because my parents believed a Christian education was the best education for my brother and I.” When I would give this answer the other person always looked confused and standing looking at me like I overloaded them with a lot of information. I probably should have kept it to myself. They really wanted the simple answer. They wanted to put me in the blue box, but I gave them the rainbow box. Afterwards, I feel like dang, I should have just given them one answer. Then a part of me says, “you don’t have to give any answer if you don’t want to because this is your story.” So as time moves on I learn not to dwell, but it keeps coming up in my mind and during the interactions I experience, see and hear.
I’ve watched those of us who always talk about God through quoting and posting bible verse after bible verse after bible verse. It’s like they are stuck in the same vibration of quoting bible verses. There is a difference between doing and being.
I’ve also observed some of us who clearly do not understand the bible and have distorted it to fit everything everybody else is doing wrong. To them the bible, which is a wonderful book, represents all there is, in our universe. There is so much more when we learn to allow.
Religion is always a touchy subject and the fun begins with those of us who take things to the extreme. Especially, when defining religion as the ego’s attempt to put spirituality in a box with a stack of rules. I can relate more to the meaning of the word spirituality then I can about the meaning of the word religion. Through my filter of experiences, spirituality has many definitions but, a simple one is the journey of understanding ones own personal truth by rediscovering the love within. Religion and most things stemming from it was created to help us, understand spirituality through the teachings of others, to get us back to who we are and our purpose here on earth.
On the way home, one day, I saw our next door neighbor as I was pulling into the driveway. I was happy to see her and her kids outside playing. It was October and Halloween was around the corner. I got out of the van and walked next door to greet her and her kids. My own kids where standing by my side. We said our hello and talked about the kids and school and how kids grow like weeds. I remembered that the 31st was coming up and I said what will your kids dress up as for Halloween this year. She said we don’t celebrate Halloween it’s a pagan celebration. In my mind I was like what does that mean but, more than that she said it with such fear. She made me feel like I committed a crime for asking. What’s the worst that can happen letting kids play dress up for one day and eat candy under parent supervision? What? Is Jesus himself going to land in front of every house and blow it up if she didn’t follow the rules? The conversation ended with goodbyes and the kids staring at each other like all they wanted to do is play. It was an awkward moment. Two days later the door bell rings and I open the door and the same neighbor stands there with a paper in her hand. She says to me I want to give you this information as to why Halloween is bad. I took the information and said thank you and closed the door. I read the pamphlet but the information was not new to me. Is it really that serious?
Everyone has to live and do what they want to do because it’s their journey. When we jump out of and into someone else’s lane on the many freeways of love, is when problems are created. I think we are here on this beautiful earth to experience, understand, love and be throughout all the days of life we live.
Today, I don’t declare myself as being part of any organized religious group. However, I am open to learning. Some of us need religion to help us create who we want to be. When we confine ourselves to one experience it’s like shutting the door on everything else. I am not defined by a series of dogma and rules. I don’t think God would want me to restrict myself to the beauty and love of that which we created together.
Love is at the center of most religions or beliefs. Love is infinite. You cannot create or destroy it. Love. It is the all-powerful and the most powerful. You can be on your death-bed and the love of family and friends can turn death into life. Love can grab you from the depths, of the cycle, of your own hell. Love can hit you so hard you won’t even know your name. Love is everything and can mean multiple things. It’s who we are and meant to be. It’s what we are meant to give to each other.
So the next time someone asks me what’s my religion. I don’t know what I will say or if I will have the courage to step out on a limb and say I have no religion. I don’t know if I will say anything at all or if I will say, Love. I do know that I am coming into the understanding of MY truth. I’m sure these words will strike the ego of others who can’t stay in their lane and that’s okay. It’s MY journey.
©2016 by Allura Eshmun