Can you feel that? If you stop, you can feel it. Maybe even see it. Some of us are aware of it and some of us are not. It’s so subtle that you really, really have to be in this moment right now to feel it. It flows from me to you and then it thumps into us like a heartbeat.
Over the last few days we’ve had the opportunity to visit our nation’s capital. For us it’s vacation but, for the natives it’s just the normal everyday hustle and bustle.
After a light breakfast in our hotel room we get dressed and head down to the Metro station to catch the subway to start our day. The natives have a briskness in their walk, and a determination in their step and a focus that we didn’t have while on the way to the Metro station. We were nearly run over by someone on the elevator. Guess we weren’t moving fast enough. We were leisurely walking full of excitement about our new day. But the people of the town had no excitement in their eyes. There was something else. You could see it in their faces. Not quite sadness. Not quite lost. But it was almost like they have forgotten. Forgotten about us. The pulse. Our earthly heartbeat. It’s what connects us and keeps us thriving.
While sitting on the subway I sat quietly. Sometimes even closing my eyes so I can separate the sounds and smells in my mind. I wanted to feel the pulse of the city. When the people entered the train they are just kind of going along with their life. But what I was feeling, was a separateness or even a shyness from the people. Don’t get me wrong they were nice, probably good standing citizens but, something was missing and it really didn’t matter what city I was in because this is happening everywhere.
I look in the direction of a beautiful woman. High cheek bones and flawless hair. Our eye’s met but she got nervous and quickly looked down. If I said, “Good morning” would this have put her at ease? Maybe, but she was too far away in her thoughts to hear me say hello.
I could hear the wheels hitting the train rails and the brakes squeaking to a stop. A few people get off and a few people get on.
You can learn a lot about someone’s shoes. There were a lot of walkers on that train.
Off to the next stop and I spend a moment talking to my daughter and son. I love those moments when you can really see your kids and know that they are going to be okay and that they are growing up fast. They just all of a sudden look different. It’s almost like being out-of-body for a brief second. My daughter says to me why are we born and I said,” because Mommy and Daddy wanted you and your brother”. She said what makes me, me? Then my son says,” why must there be a man and women to have a child”. Smart, I thought to myself. They are already questioning life. The pulse of the city.
It’s almost like if more of us knew why we are here maybe they would feel the pulse of the city. I look into the eyes of a few people on the subway and see deep rich dark eyes. Eyes that tell a story, but an expression that hides it all. I hear the words stand back doors closing as more people enter the train. It’s an ongoing cycle. People getting on and getting off. What will break the cycle to save us? What will save the pulse of the city. Can you hear it? Are you aware of it? What does it sound like to you?
©by Allura Eshmun 2016