Weeks before the big day Momma buys me a new pink dress and my brother a new gray suit. On Friday she washes my hair, greases my scalp, and plaits my hair. Saturday night I sit between the stove and the sink to get my hair pressed. Once the hot comb surrounds each strand, my hair magically changes from nappy to straight. After all my hair is flattened and silky she adds gigantic pink sponge rollers. When she finishes, I can go to play in my room. On the way there, I see Daddy. He’s in the bathroom which is across the hall from my bedroom. He is looking at his white chalky pasted chin in the mirror. Ewww!! Daddys put stinky Magic Shave on his face again. I pinch my nose, walk to my room a little faster to evade the smell while he shaves his face!
The next day on Easter morning, I watch everyone get ready to go to church. Momma is putting on make-up which is something I don’t watch her do often. I have on my pretty white slip with lace edges, my good socks and dress shoes, because Momma doesn’t want me getting my dress wrinkle or dirty, before we get to church. I don’t know what my brother is doing in his room, but I’m excited, because Easter Sunday is the day we do a little extra to make sure we look our best and I get to open my Easter basket.
Momma helps me put on my dress and tells my brother to put on his shoes so we can go to church. I hear Daddy open the creaky front door then I hear him turn on the loud Ford Fairmont station wagon. We are all looking good; new clothes, picked out afros and fancy hair styles. We are going to church together. Momma is off from working at the hospital today and Daddys doesn’t have any sales paperwork to fill out for work.
Precious childhood memories feel like yesterday. I am so grateful for all the experiences I’ve shared with my family. Times change and I’ve watched and now see the world through a different filter of experience. The experiences are equal to watching a silent movie with me as narrator. It goes a little something like this…
It’s Easter Sunday and even though it’s unspoken among the fellowship every one entering church today will be in their finest clothes. The sisters of the church walk in wearing pastel dresses with matching hat, high-heeled shoes and purse. They spent 6 to 8 hours at the hair salon, in the kitchen. The brothers also wear their finest pastel or dark blue suits, with matching polished gator shoes, socks and some with matching fedora or panama styled hat. They waited for hours at the barbershop to get a perfect haircut yesterday. The teenagers walk behind their families, disconnected from the present moment and in a daze, not wanting to be at church, but there because their Mom forced them to attend and dress up. That means girls dresses need to be loose and come down to the knee and the boys must pull their pants up to the waist, wear a tie and no sneakers, only dress shoes. Grandma already warned, “No texting, no pictures or getting on Instagram or Snapchat in Gods house. Turn off your cell phone!”
Walking into the main sanctuary everyone greets each other with smiles and whispered hello’s, but inside our minds, we are really checking out (judging) who has on what and which CEO has come to church this time. The letters CEO is an acronym for ‘Christmas Easter Only’ and describes members who only go to church two times a year. Some female facial expressions say, “Oh! No, she didn’t look at me and my kids that way and why are they wearing jeans and sneakers in the house of the Lord!” The brothers watch and nod to each other with their unspoken language. By the looks on his face Pastor is nervous about his sermon. The deacons are ready to give praise. The choir is ready to march down the aisle to finally sing the new songs they’ve been practicing for months. An hour later we sit in the pews waiting for announcements to end so Pastor can hurry up and preach. The sisters worry about cooking the rest of dinner and praying pastor will not preach pass 1:30pm. A few brothers glance at their watches because they can’t wait to see the basketball game at 2pm. We all look good, but our clothes start to get hot and uncomfortable as we sit almost shoulder to shoulder. One sister just leaned forward to scratch her panty hose and I see some ladies sliding off their stilettos to rest their sore swollen feet. It hurts to look good. The smaller kids are restless because they don’t normally sit in the sanctuary this long and can’t wait to sing their Easter song. All this and church is not even half way through… Together we are all dedicated to praising Jesus. Hallelujah!
I could go on and on and add more details, but I think, what I’ve written paints a familiar picture. I still marvel at the great lengths we go through to polish our physical appearance, but have we forgotten the meaning of Easter? Have we forgotten the purpose of church? Have we distorted the purpose of religion? Are we just going through the motions because it’s a habit we think will automatically make us good people and we think going to church is a certain way to be good. Have we lost our truth?
Easter is a celebration of eternal life. The resurrection of Jesus Christ is the beginning of our awakening and understanding that we are eternal just like him. Our Spirit never dies. Jesus, a healer and teacher awakened and provided a loving space for us to learn about ourselves. This peaceful eternal space within us is our part of God.
His story tells us how infinite we are and how to focus on our self and love who we are within. He taught us how to heal each other through love. He taught us to how to feed each other, give to each other, help each other. He’s taught us how to take care of one another. He taught us how we are one and connected. He showed us how to love our spirit and humanness by being.
So, what’s the purpose of going to church? Church is any sacred space we go to heal our self with others who seek the same within themselves. We go to learn how to get back into alignment with our loving self. It’s the place where we learn over and over again how to allow life as it comes in each moment. We learn how to allow our humanness; to learn we are not alone and are part of something bigger than ourselves. It’s a place we learn how to allow love again. We learn together how to be kind, compassionate, forgiving and give unconditional love to ourselves and each other. It’s a place to meet others who also believe. We are not required to go stand or sit inside a building for an hour or two every Sunday morning to discover this truth and live this truth.
What’s the purpose of religion? Religion is a practice we use to experience and understand our spirit. Religion is a guide we use to understand our spiritual purpose. Sometimes this includes exercising certain rituals to help us feel the spirit within us.
What does Easter mean to you? When you are with your family discuss the importance of church and what it means to you? Do you think we have lost the meaning of Easter and Church?
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Copyright © 2017 by Allura Eshmun